How Gina Got Her Groove Back-Part Two

PATONG

The morning following the Night Bazaar shop-a-thon part deux, I immediately dumped all of my old crappy sundresses. My feeling is that when you take on weight, you must also get rid and my dresses were old and haggard anyway. My flight to Phuket was scheduled to leave at 12:35 so I had my transfer there at 11 and off we went to Chiang Mai airport. I was a little bit nervous about the time crunch but it was about a 15 minute drive and the easiest check-in of my life. I somehow ended up in business class, which is another reason book must sell. Pure Heaven! I was first in line, got to hang out in the "lounge" (which was full of stuffy-types but had free food and tea.) First on the plane, nice seat and bag first to arrive as well. It was 2 hours of bliss.

Arrived in Phuket around 2:30 and hired a metered taxi to get me to my guesthouse in Patong Beach. Never made it to Phuket Town, but will next time. (More on that later!) My cab driver, Mr. Kasam Tabjit, was in a very pleasant mood as he was headed to Krabi for some R & R with the Mrs. About 45 minutes later, we arrived at Priew Wan Guesthouse and I checked-in. It was located in a little ally just off the main road going into Patong, he didn't even know where it was, but it ended up being my favorite place of my entire trip. Run by a family, the little 7 year-old daughter gave me my keys and then her dad led me to my room which was on the top floor. TOP floor and it was hot and muggy but I was used to it after my leisurely trek through the hills of the North.

I quickly threw on my old crappy bathers and headed to the beach. At first I was a bit put-off, it seemed so cheesy and touristy and resorty and I thought I was trapped in a Vegas-style hell-hole for two days. Again, as I mentioned previously, I changed my mind for many reasons and will surely return. After all, this was a fact-finding mission and it really comes down to personal choice and one's state of mind. I booked through Vancouver Keith, the same dude from BKK, who swore I would hate Patong and love Phi Phi and my standing orders were as follows: "I DO NOT WANT SPRING BREAK OR A PLACE WHERE I HAVE TO SIT AND WATCH HONEYMOONERS SWALLOW EACH OTHER!" As it turned out, Patong was just in the middle but I had to experience things myself to make my final answer.

Walked along the esplanade and found the beach, along with one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen. Up there with Pacifica and Darwin, Australia. (It's the only good thing about Darwin!) It was quiet with chairs and cabana boys and I already had the following day planned: do nothing!

I found a great little shop with hats and sunglasses and cute bikini's and since my haggling skills were freshly honed, I was able to score pretty well, as I listened in on the conversation with a dude who bought some stuff before I got there. New sunscreen bottle and I was good to go. Shoved it all in my backpack and walked around. I believe this was when I posted something about being dropped in a big vat of fondue! Which, was true. It did look a little like Vegas but it was my first night and I was still trying to suss out the geography.

Bored and feeling as though I had been dipped in a vat of man-repellent, I wandered home fairly early and discovered a little outdoor joint right by my place called "Sugar Beer Bar." Same kind of vibe as Tilac, only smaller. I walked up and ordered a Singah and discovered a rather large group of gents and upon further review of the accent, realized they were from the Midlands. They were there on annual golfing holiday and the reason I figured this out was they told me they had been to Phoenix. There is only one reason to go there for 10 days and I was right. I was a bit scared at first, because I understand the whole "stag party" mentality all too well and have learned to run for the hills when I see one approach. But these guys were lovely, most all of them in their 50's/60's and hilarious to watch with the girls. I hunkered-down there for the evening, as it was close to my place and I had some serious tanning to accomplish the next day so I didn't want to wander off and get into trouble.

My plan worked perfectly, I got up early and headed down to the beach just in time to find a spot close to a potty, a cabana boy and the perfect view. The only view I didn't care for was the Euro-jelly belly banana hammock vista, but really....I didn't care. Made me look HOT!

After hours toggling back and forth between some serious drooling and walks up and down the beach it was time to head back to clean up for the night.

On my way back, I saw the lads post-18th so I stopped in for a can and the next thing I know, I'm having a dance-off with Kevin, the bloke affectionately known as "SHREK." Now, when I say he looks like Shrek, I am not joking one bit. Add the green and he literally could be living in a forest by a bog. But, as the universe often does giveth and taketh away, he was blessed with the ability to dance like Justin Timberlake. We got our freak-on to "In the Club" and I got cheers all -around for that one. It was a blast and dammit! I didn't have my camera.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful, the hike must have caught up to me and I did have a massage which put me to sleep. I had to catch the ferry to Ko Phi Phi anyway, so I called it an early night and got my sleep on for the impending adventure ahead.