The Accidental Tourist

Alas, I have temporarily lost my edge and become what I have worked years to eschew. I have become a "tourist." In all fairness, the last 3 months of my life have been a tad challenging and I was otherwise detained mentally. Still, the feeling leaves me frustrated and somewhat devolved. Bad airline purchase, too much on hotel, Tuk Tuk rip-offs, etc.

I'm in Phuket now, summoning my strength and finally have mastered the art of haggling. More on that later.

I left this post last in the internet cafe, in Bangkok, Sukumvit, near my hotel on Soi 23. The internet cafe was atop a family run Indian restaurant, which by the looks of things was a great idea because I am convinced the computers upstairs bring in more money as I never once saw a table full, or even partially full, of diners. As I last posted, Howie had unexpectedly shown up and we quickly went for a pint then thought eating was a good idea. As I am a bit less of a "sit-down" eater here I was ok with some street food of BBQ pork and/or a big bowl of noodles but we thought it might be nice to visit Bob Vaughn at his newly opened "Los Cabos"to give him a boost. I am a sucker for a San Franciscan who is trying to make it good elsewhere, and also having been in the biz all my life just feel compelled to help out. And yet, spending 500 BAHT on two tacos and a beer gave me a bit of indigestion. (Let me state for the record that the food was amazing, so there.)

This leads me to my next point and a bit of explaining about temporarily losing my "traveler" status. I have been so busy taking care of things at home and moving, etc., that I am sure I just went into some haze when I booked said trip and continued my naivite' forthwith during the first 5 days of being here. I literally should have just walked around giving my money away for the idiotic decision-making in which I engaged. Oh yeah...laugh all of you veterans! 500 BAHT for a tuk tuk who "tuk" me for a ride both literally and figuratively. Plus, I hate haggling, as I said and am just a girl who is genetically pre-disposed to avoid arguing. (Unless I am on a debate team, or some such thing.) My frustration has finally turned to savvy and have also figured out a way to haggle. More on that later as well.

So, after Howie and I said good-bye Sunday night, I walked by "Tilac" bar, the one with the girls who loved me and sure enough they all came bounding out "gina gina" and hugging me, etc. Decided to take photos and order a beer then of course decided to buy them all shots and that set me back 800 BAHT but what the hell. I worked my whole life for tips, so I guess the tipping Karma was coming around and it was my turn.

Got a massage then went to 7-11 to buy bug repellent and a four-pack of SINGHA, then found a great BBQ street vendor next to my hotel. As I waited I just decided that they looked thirsty so I gave away three beers and kept one for myself to drink with dinner. I think they liked the beer, because for 30 BAHT I got a big slab of juicy pork long beans and cabbage. That was the beginning of the impending tuk tuk Karma that would follow me to this moment.

Slept well, got up and worked out, went for a swim and decided to go to Bo Bae market as I was obsessing on cargo pants and needed them desperately.

Was bored and suspect of Tuk Tuk so I decided to take a scooter taxi (mom, you might want to skip this part) and for 100 BAHT got on the back of some crazy scooter, went to market, procured said pants and returned without incident. I finally felt like a local.

Took a taxi to TAT office and bought more tickets and got train ticket. While I waited for Vancouver keith to organize my stuff, I thought I would meander through the neighborhood, which was industrial and a bit ghetto-ish but I like this kind of place because it is the real deal.

Saw a family sitting in a...well, cafe is too posh, but a metal hut with an old fridge and some plastic tables and a door leading somewhere. Granny, grandpa, auntie, two babies, and then mom and son came in a bit later. For 20 BAHT, I got a frozen SINGHA, which was great because it was hot and it melted quickly. The started shouting at me in Thai...it was hilarious. "USA! hahahahahah!!!!!" Yep, that's me. USA!

THE TRAIN
The overnight train to Chiang Mai was right around the corner and Keith walked me halfway...really easy and nice. I sat down with my water and a small Chang beer I bought from the family and was joined by the loveliest lady named Nancy who shared her dinner with me and then proceeded to crack open a Heineken and toasted me. This wouldn't seem odd but Nancy, or "Dr. Nongnuch Jiraveerkul" seemed quite proper and there she was earning a million points for cracking open a cold one. Brava!

Then, Paolo and Sara from the floating market tour just showed up out of nowhere and there we all were reliving the day and sitting on a train bound for Chiang Mai.

Promptly at 10 p.m. this tiny woman with a germ mask came around and turned all of our seats into beds and I slept like a little baby for the whole 8 hours. I did, I confess, have help from a little purple pill which I bought at a Chemist for cheap and I am convinced that if one needs a pharmacy or a doctor or especially a dentist, Thailand is the place to come.

As it is getting late and I'm a bit lost, I will close for now. Suffice to say that I have been to Vegas, Amsterdam...hell, I lived in a tourist neighborhood for two years. BUT, this is the most hilarious...cheesy/douchy place I have ever visited. I mean, it's so cheese that I have to laugh. Pure Velveeta. No, maybe so cheesy that it's fondue. Yes...a big vat of fondue.

Will finish up Chiang Mai and mountain tribe/trekking experience tomorrow! Did manage to buy a cool bikini. Beach all day tomorrow. ALL DAY!