Loch Ness

OFF TO SEE THE MONSTER

Ullapool ended up to be the most mellow night of the trip, most people hung out at the hostel and went to bed early. Of course, Pete and I had to have one more pint so we went down to the pub where I learned all about the rules of Cricket and why Arsenal can beat Barcelona in the Premiership final. Pete and Spikey are 2 Aussies who work for a tour company called BACKPACKER Co. that takes people to festivals, like the Running of the Bulls and ANZAC Day in Gallipoli, Turkey. Two great people with the best job in the world. They are only in their mid-twenties and have already been to more places than most people will ever see in their lives. GOOD ON YA!

The next morning we sped off for Loch Ness and it was at this point I realized I was spending wayyyyyy to much money, but also realized that I was having the time of my life and that I would fare much better in Europe so what the heck! And as always, Duncan Blue singing away at full blast! "Sail it up, sail it up..."

COLLODAN MOOR

The Battle of Collodan Moor is perhaps the most remembered and important battle in the history of the Highlands and perhaps all of Scotland. I won't run on about it, as there are websites galore that will do a much better job, but suffice to say it was very moving and something I won't soon forget. I will say that it changed the whole Highland way of life, because after this total massacre a decree came down from the government that:

1-Anyone caught wearing a tartan would go to prison
2-Anyone caught with the bagpipes would go to prison
3-Anyone caught speaking the Gallic language would go to prison
4-Anyone caught harboring a Jacobite rebel would be killed, along with thier entire village and family
5-Anyone caught with a highland weapon would be beheaded, shot, killed...on the spot.

Lastly, the reason so many people in the former colonies are from Highland decent, is due to the Highland clearances. The Highlanders lost their money, their way of life and consequently had to leave because they couldn't pay the landowners rent and so the entire countryside was turned into...you guessed it! Grazing land for sheep.

My only other story about Collodan Moor, has to do with a young lad named "Young Neil." Way back...through the mists of time a family of 4 went to Collodan Moor to take the tour. Young Neil was about 10 at the time and was in the gift shop when he noticed a gentleman taking a gun out of a locked closet. Young Neil thought "wow, we get to play with guns!" Until he saw the man put the gun into his pocket and leave. Young Neil followed the man to his car, took down his licence plate # and told his parents. The called the police, the man was arrested and Young Neil got a handsome reward from the Scottish National Trust. He is also going to be in the book about the builiding of the memorial! (I had to tell that one, he was so excited to tell us.)

CLAVA CAIRNS

Now we get to Chloe's all-time favorite spot in all of Scotland! Clava Cairns is one of those ancient mysteries like Stone Henge. Around 4000 to 5000 years ago these rock formations were created by teen agers (people didn't live over 30) and they brought these massive rocks for miles to form 3 circles in a field. It took over 70 years to complete but the most amazing thing about them is that they face the sun in a certain direction so that on December 21, or winter solstice of every year, the light hits the back of the caves one a single point just perfectly. In fact, it is not open to the public on that day because scientists clammor to study the electromagnetic fields surrounding the rocks. I simply can't do it justice, so google the site and the images, or better yet just go there yourself. People go there to get "healed" all year 'round. CRAZY!

NESSIE

Of course, no trip to Scotland is complete without a trip to Loch Ness. First thing was to stop at a gift shop and find the cheesiest Nessie souvenier we could find and Spikey won with a Kiwi fruit playing the bagpipes. No thanks.

Then, the LOCH. Well, first of all, I believe in the creature for many reasons and there are so many scientific facts about the Loch that I won't bore you but it's one of the deepest bodies of water in the UK. It's black and dangerous...don't try to swim in there...but the water is pure and fine to drink, as is most of the water in the country.

We arrived in Port Augustus around 5, just in time to check in at Morag's hostel and feast on the all you can eat pasta dinner. This was of course, after a fierce game of Trival Pursuit and a pint. Soon after, we found ourselves climbing aboard Captain Jimmy's tour boat, where he would do his best to convince us of the existance of Nessie. For £7.50 you can look at Jimmy's sonar gadgets and see how deep the Loch is, where the creatures are and listen to his stories. Again, I was already a believer so I hid out on the top deck in the freezing mist with Neil and Fergis and sipped my SheepShagger brew.

After the tour, we made it over to the pub and had what was my personal favorite night of the entire trip! We sat and swapped injury stories, (Neil wins that one hands down) talked about travel, I threw in a few radio tales and then Chloe and I apparently had this hour long discussion about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but neither of us can remember! Ha! Thanks Neil and Pete for getting us home and thanks Chloe for being my partner in crime!

INVERNESS

We pulled out the next day to the strains of...you guessed it "Dignity" on our way to Glen Ord Distillery and Inverness. We were scheduled for a "fancy dress" party (costume party) and wanted to go to the charity shops in Inverness to pick up supplies. Spikey and I had already sorted out our costumes, but I needed one more element to complete my outfit. First we stopped at Glen Ord Distillery and tour the place, drank Whisky and then headed off to good old Inverness, the capital of the highlands. Apparently, it was completely destroyed 7 times and managed to be rebuilt each time. I searched high and low for a joke shop that would have the missing link to my dominatrix outfit and finally came upon this sort of "window" in a little indoor mall with a lady folding tee shirts on the outside. I asked her if she had any hand cuffs and she went into this little junk room and seriously about 15 minutes later, came out with pink furry handcuffs. This was right about the time that three gorgeous Scotsman rounded the corner, sipping their afternoon coffee, staring at me and then at the handcuffs and back at me and smiling. Oh god..."That'll be five pounds!" hehehehehehe. I just looked at them, smiled, paid the lady and got the hell out of there. Great, another rare run-in with cute men and I'm buying hand cuffs.

That night we had a great time at the party in the bar at Morag's, poor Petey got attacked by all the girls pouring chocolate on him, and Dave got his kilt lifted up several times, but oddly didn't seem to mind. A guy named Dave that looks like Ralph Wiggam from the Simpsons sang traditional Scottish music and then finished the night with, of course, DIGNITY! I think we scared him when we all stood up around his little 5 foot space and screamed the entire song at the top of our lungs. Great way to end the night. I actually turned in early and started getting post Haggis depression when I realized we were going home the next day. LATERS...