Isle of Skye

THE HAGGIS

Around 8:30 Monday morning myself and a bunch of backpackers gathered outside the Haggis Adventures office right up from Brodies on High Street. It had ceased being balmy and I was smart enough to pack a scarf, beanie and hoody. Right on cue, this yellow bus pulls up and out pops Chloe and Neil, our tour guides for the next six days.

There were 14 of us in our group, a bunch of Aussies, a few Canadians and me...the lone Yank. Chloe, 23, was on the microphone in a heartbeat, trying to break the ice with a few jokes and one rule about no farting at any time on the bus. Neil, 21, was bouncing up and down in his seat, singing random songs which I think he just made up as he went along. This was 5 minutes into the ride out of town, and somehow I knew we were in for a lot of fun. First stop: the William Wallace monument. Now, I have to say that young miss Chloe really impressed me with her knowledge and enthusiasm about Scotland's history. I thought I was a history geek but she is a fair match. The monument itself is massive and sits on top of a hill, but the funny part is at the bottom there is a little stone monument that is about 5 feet tall and strangely resembles Mel Gibson. Chloe was more than happy to inform us that, while Braveheart was a great piece of cinema, it was completely historically inacurate. 1) William Wallace was a LOWLANDER, so he would have never worn a kilt. 2) The battle of Stirling Bridge was extremely important because they destroyed it in real life, not in the movie. 3) The French chick was about 2 when Wallace died. 4) The blue face paint came along 200 years later and 5) Robert the Bruce was a very fine warrior and king. Now, you should be warned now that I am going to cram as much of the history that I remember into these postings so if history bores you, just skim through! I on the other hand, got quite a few golden stars for remembering such facts.

BENS AND GLENS

As we entered the Highlands, we were all amazed at the weather. Sunny skies and warm winds were not what we expected but what followed us the entire time. Chloe and Neil said to enjoy it because it would never happen again!

The LOWLANDS and HIGHLANDS are completely different entities, both with their own cultures and histories. Religion and territory played a part in conflict more than Scotland vs. England, and that we should be warned that most of the stories are about gruesome, bloody battles and tragedy. The Highlanders were fierce, warrior tribes with clan chiefs and fought and terrorized eachother for centuries. We passed quite a few battle sights and none of them sounded at all pleasant. It was a hard life and when you combine this with a culture of men who like to get drunk and fight, you are going to get some death and destruction. Nevertheless, in true Scottish fashion, Chloe and Neil made the tales fun by regaling us at every stop, usually starting the story with "now...imagine...through the mists of time..." The country side was beautiful, however, with deep and pure lochs (lakes) and glens (valleys) and bens (mountains) and there was literally not one bad view.

ISLE OF SKYE

After about 8 or so hours of driving, we finally came to the Isle of Skye and the little fishing village of Kyleakin for a night of pints, pool and Neil's guitar playing at Saucy Mary's hostel and tavern. Imagine the lot of us trying to sing American Pie at the top of our lungs, while Mr. Neil plucks away and the pitchers arrive fast and furiously! It was GRAND! The locals always seem to smell the Haggis busses right as they pull up, and trickle-in wearing their "welly's" or rubber fishing boots, and smell of deisel and old smelt. You can't buy that kind of stuff in a gift shop...it's brilliant! (They are pictured above with me and some random girl who jumped into MY picture!)

The next morning I actually managed to rise and shine around 7 and go for a run along the pier then grab breakfast at the hostel before the 8:30 launch. This is when we began the ritual of starting every day by singing a little Scottish ditty called "Dignity" by Duncan Blue. It ended up becoming the back drop of our entire week. Out first stop was another little fishing village about 1/2 hour North of Kyleakan called Portree or "Port of the King." They have everything you need, including a batik shop, post office and the best, cheapest Bakery in the region. Here you can stock up on bacon pasties, sausage rolls, cheesy bread and tea. Just be ready for the locals to snarl at you if you are on a tour bus, as the line went out the door and it took 10 minutes to be served. It was well worth it, however! There are also loads of Bed and Breakfasts right along the pier which is lovely in the morning sunlight.

The rest of the day was spent listening to Chloe spin tales of fairies and Fergis the Giant, of Battles between the MacDonalds and MacCleods at Duntlum Castle and of Flora MacDonald, the one and only heroine of the Scottosh Highlands. I was enthralled with every single tale and would have slurped up another hundred if we had the time. On the way back to Saucy Mary's, we stopped for a hike along a beautiful ridge and sat amongst the thousands of sheep that roam the Scottish countryside. One little lamb jumped up out of no where and after startling us all half to death, managed to entertain us with it's antics that would make the toughest Rubgy player melt.

Back at Kyleakin we all decided to have a footy match on the lawn right in front of the hostel. Now, I've never played soccer in my life so I was a bit nervous that I would look like a complete buffoon, but thanks to good hand-eye coordination, hours watching football and a whole lotta moxy I managed to keep up the pace rather nicely.
Team Neil came from behind to tie Team Chloe 6-6 and a re-match was set for the following night! (I was on Team Neil in case that wasn't implied.) The rest of the night was spent challenging eachother at everything from pool to darts, from trivia to cards and by the end of the night, we were all completely knackered and ready for bed. But that wasn't before local kid "Billy Bob" and his yellow welly's danced around all the pretty girls, trying to get their attention. It was the stuff of legend and I have the photos to prove it!

The next morning we crossed the Skye bridge, said goodbye to Saucy Mary singing "dignity" at the top of our lungs. This is when Chloe announced that she had a special suprise in store for us, after a visit to Eilean Donan Castle.

LATERS!